August 26,2004 - 9:14 p.m.
Yeah, this entry is for Franco.
Sometimes when i see him i dont think i know him anymore, changed so much since freshman year... skinnier with glasses and funny hair. Always been my best friend no matter what happened we always had each others backs. I still remember when I slapped him in the face in Mr.Wilson's spanish class, i felt so bad but i couldnt show it. Still remember those talks we used to have all night about meaningless shit and how we were always best friends... because we knew we were alike. I wondered somedays why you talked to me so much, i was an awkward girl with a horrible haircut (atleast i thought)... but i guess we knew we were alike.. that is why we were together so much. After a while we couldnt talk anymore... i was nervous because the boy that was my best friend liked me and it broke my heart not to be able to like him back. I still remember our long lunches making fun of Togos and Chanel.. Freshman year the jv boys soccer team used to come watch our games and i still remember seeing him sitting on the sidelines looking at me, it always made me feel good to know he would be there when he could. I was happy when we started talking again i needed him i was having bad times and i was alone and sad he used to get mad when i cut myself and then i fell in love and yes... what he said is true "if love's an addiction... then she's addicted to crack". I left him and i knew that would happen he was my best friend. He was the one i would grab by the sleeves and drag to the side of the gym, pull up his sleeves and yell for his cuts. I didnt mean to yell, i always meant to tell him this, that i loved him so much.. i didnt want him to hurt himself and i didnt want him to be sad. Things get better when you fall in love with blue eyed boys and brown eyed girls, i went to therapy and got on meds and put myself together... he healed by himself (i dont even know if for sure he healed i think he just says that because no one was watching, now i am kicking myself because i should have been there). When you move on and you meet the person of your dreams you lose sight of those other people that you love more than anything else in your life.. somehow you think things wont change without you and that you can stay away forever and they will have not even taken a breath in your absence). But i guess sometimes you grow up. And now on the night after the second day of school i found my best friend again, he hasnt changed all that much.. he is still the person i love to hang out with and the person that i would share anything and everything with. I love to make him smile because he is my bestfriend, and i hope things in his life are everything he wished for them to be because he deserves the best. When i see him in the morning i will give him a big hug and let him know that i love him, because we still are the same... more so than we know... and we still are best friends.
Love,
Lindsey
