2004-12-23 - 2:40 p.m.
Things are getting difficult 2 days before christmas and you know.. things get colder in the winter and relationships grow thinner. Kinda tired and broken right now i wanna be alone like im used to. I feel like vomitting because i HATE myself right now.. I remember myself being anorexically skinny.. it was hot... but now im "healthy" looking and i HATE IT. I want to drop weight like there is no tomorrow i want to carve this flesh from my bones and look at myself in the mirror and see the gaunt figure of yesterday.. it will be done. But i dont want sore throats and broken fingernails and shit like that.. I didnt get rejected from SCU.. my dream school... just need to keep my 4.0 so that i can get in... damn it.. i would do anything to not be awake right now.
Lindsey
