November 14,2004 - 3:19 p.m.
My eyes are red i swear to god my ankles will stop dripping soon the more i fuck up the older i become i think i might die soon. I cant take this the way i need this i need someone to tell me how gorgeous i am in a back seat of a car and i need someone to kiss me softly and make me feel beautiful because i know these sleeves hide scars and something else is bloody i dont know what to do self control has left me he drinks (he says he wont anymore) and she wants to hear she is beautiful from boys that think they have fallen maybe she has too. She cant fall she cant there are scars on her upper arms and cuts on her ankles. They dont see it in her eyes that this is eating her alive she hung up the phone she was scared she had to run she couldnt tell him what was making her cry that she didnt say she loved him last night but that she didnt want to leave that she is sick and tired of feeling this way. I think i need to puke i cant take this sickness anymore. I keep thinking that if i could just be... like before then things might get better in this damn life. FUCK THIS. Yeah... i dont feel like anyone will ever understand me.
Lindsey
Soundtrack to my life:
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Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life
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Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
