2004-06-25 - 1:25 p.m.
Hello my love, because i know you still are my love. I hope you are having a great day, because I really cannot stop thinking about you. I am trying not to contact you, so i thought that i would write here in case you are wondering what is going on with me.
So, yesterday night Brian told me he needed space. Knowing me I totally lost it, because it is scary hearing that the person that you love doesnt feel happy with you anymore.. I dont blame anything on him... i have some blame on me, placed there by myself. I feel guilty because i know that if i would have just left last night after talking after the movie that we would still be together, but just on a break. I am not going to date anyone while we are apart... because i dont want anyone else. But if i find you dont want me back in a few months... i will move on...not date... but let go. No I lie... I will never forget you and i will never want to be with anyone else.
Somewhere inside I know that you will come back, because we both need time and space... i know that you love me.. and that no matter what you say I have made you happy. I just want you to know that i am giving you that space you need, because i know i need it too. And when we can get back together again, and be happy as hell, then everything will be great. Because my love I cant wait until I get to hold you again... but i understand now that i cannot have you... because we both have to find ourselves before we can be happy together. Perhaps we have to be happy with ourselves, and forgive ourselves, before we can be happy together. And I just know nicole wont read this, but i want you to know that she has helped me alot... because she can make me see us in a way that i never have before.
We are a beautiful thing... and i never want to lose that.
Love always,
Lindsey
