2004-06-30 - 12:38 a.m.
It has been my birthday for about a half an hour, happy birthday to me. I am kinda feeling bad because I think I am getting a bit heavy. I hate feeling this way, but I dont know what to do. I know that I need to lose weight but I dont know. I feel that brian would find me more attractive if i lost weight. I know he thinks that I am a bit chunky, but I know he still loves me and thinks that i am beautiful but in a different way. Because now i am curvy rather than flat everywhere. But now i have a belly i need to tone up. It will help now though that nicole is getting a membership at avac, then we can go together. That would be good, atleast i think so. I need some motivation. Grrrr, i just want to be more attractive for brian, and I am sick for feeling like hiding all the time. My mom is making me pancakes for breakfast, and then taking me out to dinner. After today then diet time`
