2004-07-28 - 10:38 p.m.
I am feeling really bad about myself and sometimes i just need to tell someone... or something. Well, I just dont really like my body right now. I am not used to my 135 pound frame... i just cant let go of when i was 115. I hate mybody.... but i am afraid to try to change it. I am too down on myself to want to try.. plus i am afraid of myself trying. I went through all my dresses for dances tonight. I tried them on. It is funny how sophmore year i wore a size 1 and by junior year i went to a size 3 and now i am a size 4 or 5. It makes me angry. Mostly because i hate how brian looks at me now. I know he is trying to get used to me not being as sexually attractive as i used to be. I used to be really skinny and he liked that. Now i am just.... normal... not fat not skinny. I am going to work out in the morning. I dont like me.
